It's A Wonderful Day In The Neighborhood
Okay. So I'm going to be brutally honest. My next door neighbor annoys me. Truly annoys me. It's not her fault, though. She has an intellectual disability. Lisa has been my next door neighbor for 17 years. She's basically a "child" living inside an adult's body. When we moved into our house in the summer of 1999, my daughter Valerie was just 7 years old. She used to bounce over to Lisa's and watch Disney movies or play with her dog. At that time, it seemed like they were at the same intellectual level. Val, now 23, is away at college. She's growing up, maturing and becoming a woman. Lisa, well, she hasn't changed or aged a bit.
That's not the part that bothers me, though. After all, I've worked in special education. I've worked side-by-side with many kids with special needs, and I'm currently employed by the Disability Determination Service Division. I get that Lisa is impaired. At least I have the head knowledge. But I just can't help my reaction to some of her odd behaviors. For one, I'm overly sensitive to loud noises. And Lisa is loud! Plus, I have an exaggerated startle reflex. I can't count the number of times I've taken the garbage out only to have Lisa approach me out of nowhere and yell, "Hey Mary! Where's Valerie?"
"Valerie doesn't live here any more, Lisa."
"Oh," she will say, as she walks away, talking to herself. "That's my neighbor. She knows me..." (Lisa has an imaginary friend.) She also doesn't understand the concept of boundaries. When she approaches me, it's always right in my personal space, with a LOUD, forceful voice as if she's YELLING at me.
It's the same conversation every time I walk out my front door. Some days she catches me before I jump into my car and the interrogation begins: "Where's Val? Where's Adam? Where's Don?" She goes through each and every family member. I feel like I'm literally stuck in the movie, Groundhog's Day. Poor Bill Murray wakes up day after day and has the same conversations, goes through the same encounters with the same people. Needless to say, I've at times become quite juvenile in attempts to avoid my neighbor. I'm the first to admit that it's certainly NOT how God wants me to behave. So, what do I do when I see Lisa? I run and hide. Or, if I'm driving toward my house and see that she's in the front yard, I drive past and wait until I see that she's gone inside. Some days, I just can't bring myself to repeat that same predictable conversation YET again.
So, what's the point of all this Lisa ranting anyway? Well, I was thinking the other day that maybe that's how my prayers sound to God. Does he feel like he's in perpetual Groundhog Day with me? "God, please give me strength!" "God, please help me with my job." "Lord, forgive me for doing such and such yet again." It just seems like I'm always praying the same thing, different day. I'm scared, I'm worried, I'm angry, I'm resentful, I'm cranky, I'm selfish, I'm yadda, yadda, yadda.
Geeze, I'm so very grateful that God doesn't drive past me or run and hide! Thank you, Lord, for your patience with me. Please forgive me for being so juvenile and intolerant of a neighbor who truly cannot help her behavior. I really appreciate how much you love, listen to, and take interest in ALL of your children - no matter how annoying we can be.
That's not the part that bothers me, though. After all, I've worked in special education. I've worked side-by-side with many kids with special needs, and I'm currently employed by the Disability Determination Service Division. I get that Lisa is impaired. At least I have the head knowledge. But I just can't help my reaction to some of her odd behaviors. For one, I'm overly sensitive to loud noises. And Lisa is loud! Plus, I have an exaggerated startle reflex. I can't count the number of times I've taken the garbage out only to have Lisa approach me out of nowhere and yell, "Hey Mary! Where's Valerie?"
"Valerie doesn't live here any more, Lisa."
"Oh," she will say, as she walks away, talking to herself. "That's my neighbor. She knows me..." (Lisa has an imaginary friend.) She also doesn't understand the concept of boundaries. When she approaches me, it's always right in my personal space, with a LOUD, forceful voice as if she's YELLING at me.
It's the same conversation every time I walk out my front door. Some days she catches me before I jump into my car and the interrogation begins: "Where's Val? Where's Adam? Where's Don?" She goes through each and every family member. I feel like I'm literally stuck in the movie, Groundhog's Day. Poor Bill Murray wakes up day after day and has the same conversations, goes through the same encounters with the same people. Needless to say, I've at times become quite juvenile in attempts to avoid my neighbor. I'm the first to admit that it's certainly NOT how God wants me to behave. So, what do I do when I see Lisa? I run and hide. Or, if I'm driving toward my house and see that she's in the front yard, I drive past and wait until I see that she's gone inside. Some days, I just can't bring myself to repeat that same predictable conversation YET again.
So, what's the point of all this Lisa ranting anyway? Well, I was thinking the other day that maybe that's how my prayers sound to God. Does he feel like he's in perpetual Groundhog Day with me? "God, please give me strength!" "God, please help me with my job." "Lord, forgive me for doing such and such yet again." It just seems like I'm always praying the same thing, different day. I'm scared, I'm worried, I'm angry, I'm resentful, I'm cranky, I'm selfish, I'm yadda, yadda, yadda.
Geeze, I'm so very grateful that God doesn't drive past me or run and hide! Thank you, Lord, for your patience with me. Please forgive me for being so juvenile and intolerant of a neighbor who truly cannot help her behavior. I really appreciate how much you love, listen to, and take interest in ALL of your children - no matter how annoying we can be.
Comments
Post a Comment