To My Birthday Boy

Hi Adam, your birthday is right around the corner – Wednesday, January 8th. You would have been 29 years young. We miss you so much and think of you every day. I remember that Tuesday morning you entered the world like it was yesterday. You arrived at 11:14 a.m., just in time for lunch. Not too early, not too late. It was a perfect day in every way (except for the labor part, but an epidural helped with that!)

You weighted in at 8 lbs., 9 oz., wearing your daddy’s sky blue eyes, with soft wisps of blond hair. Everyone thought you were a beautiful baby, and you were. On your birthday each year, dad and I went out of our way to make your celebration special. I think we just wanted to make sure you didn’t feel slighted since your birthday was two weeks after Christmas.

So many fun parties, outings, pizza and paintball, rowdy times with your friends. I think your favorites were the video game all-nighters. Those never seemed to get old.









There’s a new James Bond movie coming out in April with Daniel Craig starring in it. Dad’s going to have to go without you. “Without you” … we’re still trying to figure out how to move forward without you. It’s been 7 months, 4 days, and 15 hours since we got the midnight knock on the door telling us that you had left us. It still haunts me.

But every day, we get out of bed, we put one foot in front of the other, we try to remember to breathe, and we keep going. That’s all we can do. We’re thankful for the 28 years we had with you, even though some of them were hard, especially when mental illness robbed us of the young man we knew and loved.

This Wednesday, we plan to spend the day just celebrating your life, doing some things that you used to enjoy. We thought maybe we’d drive up to Chico to hang out in your old college stomping ground, stroll through Bidwell Park, and have lunch at one of your favorite spots.

Heaven feels so very far away, but we know that in light of eternity, it’s only the blink of an eye. Today, we’re one step closer to all being together again. Meanwhile, happy early birthday, son.  Just know that we’re thinking of you and will always love you.

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